Agreeing to a request and then regretting it later is a universal experience. Leaders want to be helpful and liked by others, just like everyone else. But in their ambition to gain acceptance and please others, they sometimes say “Yes” to a request when they should have said “No.”
I’ve been there. Saying yes when I should’ve said no. For two reasons: time and/or I truly didn’t want to do it. Some of my almost no’s turned into I’m glad I said yes.
It’s a possibility. The one I think of the most - no to yes - was just because I was trying to take an honest break and was short on time. But being roped in at the last minute to a yes was kind of meant to be. It turned out well. I guess I said yes mostly because they had no one else and they needed me and I didn’t want to let them down.
I agree that saying “yes” more slowly is wise, and I love the list of probing questions. Nonetheless, I have found that a bigger problem is people in leadership positions who are too quick to say “no” or, worse still, “maybe,” which is the coward’s “no.”
True leaders always start with a “yes” in their heart, have a good reason for “no,” and avoid “maybe” altogether. It’s just a matter of respect for their people.
A quick no is as troublesome as a quick yes. Team members will be resistant to come along on any decision where they feel like they weren’t considered or consulted. Fast is the real culprit as it means leaders didn’t do the work.
Yes. If it is a sincere “maybe” or “we’ll see” or whatever. The problem is that too many bosses use “maybe” as a shadow “no,” and savvy employees know this. There are ways to convey a sincere “maybe,” though, such suggesting a time when it should come back up and laying out a process that would move it to the definite “yes” column.
This runs counter to the idea that good leaders are very decisive. I think we like the idea that good leaders are decisive --- but mostly good leaders are willing to suffer the accusation of being slow to make decisions.
I’ve been there. Saying yes when I should’ve said no. For two reasons: time and/or I truly didn’t want to do it. Some of my almost no’s turned into I’m glad I said yes.
Do you think many of the unconvincing yes are decided by relationships not wanting to be risked?
It’s a possibility. The one I think of the most - no to yes - was just because I was trying to take an honest break and was short on time. But being roped in at the last minute to a yes was kind of meant to be. It turned out well. I guess I said yes mostly because they had no one else and they needed me and I didn’t want to let them down.
I agree that saying “yes” more slowly is wise, and I love the list of probing questions. Nonetheless, I have found that a bigger problem is people in leadership positions who are too quick to say “no” or, worse still, “maybe,” which is the coward’s “no.”
True leaders always start with a “yes” in their heart, have a good reason for “no,” and avoid “maybe” altogether. It’s just a matter of respect for their people.
A quick no is as troublesome as a quick yes. Team members will be resistant to come along on any decision where they feel like they weren’t considered or consulted. Fast is the real culprit as it means leaders didn’t do the work.
Isn’t “maybe” the option that gives a leader more time? :)
Do you like the optionality of “maybe” but just not the word?
Yes. If it is a sincere “maybe” or “we’ll see” or whatever. The problem is that too many bosses use “maybe” as a shadow “no,” and savvy employees know this. There are ways to convey a sincere “maybe,” though, such suggesting a time when it should come back up and laying out a process that would move it to the definite “yes” column.
This runs counter to the idea that good leaders are very decisive. I think we like the idea that good leaders are decisive --- but mostly good leaders are willing to suffer the accusation of being slow to make decisions.