It’s always easier to save up criticism until there is a better time and place to deliver it. When this choice repeats itself, the criticism and the negativity associated with it build up. When leaders finally find the courage and time to provide their critical insights, it often comes out as a firehose of negativity.
I have been on the receiving end of this one for sure! Another thing to keep in mind is that humans are motivated by positivity not negativity. That’s why bad grades in school rarely fire anyone up for very long, and persistent bad grades demoralize them.
I am not suggesting that one should only offer positive feedback, but criticism needs to be carefully measured, compassionately delivered, and bolstered by positive encouragement.
Great post - never has withholding and delivering weeks or months after the fact ended well for me. To your point, it is always received as an attack. This is a lesson I'm learning and one I'm now teaching to my team, although experiencing it firsthand is probably the better teacher. I've noticed a reason or perception for providing delayed feedback is to avoid causing more problems or having a hard conversation. Yet, the main issue that would benefit from direct feedback persists, where the inevitable late feedback comes into play. It's counterintuitive but essential to learn.
I generally try to separate work and personal. This behavior seems universal though. I don't know about you, but sometimes (most of the time) I let myself keep quiet. In a relationship, I have found kindness rules out being right (most of the time).
I have been on the receiving end of this one for sure! Another thing to keep in mind is that humans are motivated by positivity not negativity. That’s why bad grades in school rarely fire anyone up for very long, and persistent bad grades demoralize them.
I am not suggesting that one should only offer positive feedback, but criticism needs to be carefully measured, compassionately delivered, and bolstered by positive encouragement.
Well put and timely.
Just yesterday I was letting a new hire know that it's our managers' job to find areas to improve/we missed during our closing duties.
Never ever take it personally.
Thank you for your time.
Have a good day.
Great post - never has withholding and delivering weeks or months after the fact ended well for me. To your point, it is always received as an attack. This is a lesson I'm learning and one I'm now teaching to my team, although experiencing it firsthand is probably the better teacher. I've noticed a reason or perception for providing delayed feedback is to avoid causing more problems or having a hard conversation. Yet, the main issue that would benefit from direct feedback persists, where the inevitable late feedback comes into play. It's counterintuitive but essential to learn.
True. Applicable for family relationships in the same way. Good word.
Good morning Steve,
I generally try to separate work and personal. This behavior seems universal though. I don't know about you, but sometimes (most of the time) I let myself keep quiet. In a relationship, I have found kindness rules out being right (most of the time).
Thank you for your time.