Saving Up Criticism

It’s always easier to save up criticism until there is a better time and place to deliver it. When this choice repeats itself, the criticism and the negativity associated with it build up. When leaders finally find the courage and time to provide their critical insights, it often comes out as a firehose of negativity. 

Saving up criticism rarely goes well. 

While it seems like the smart play at the moment, leaders who store their criticism for later give their negative feedback time to fester. With delay, resentment takes the place of insight. By the time leaders deliver the criticism, it becomes personal and emotional. Leaders unload what has been held onto rather than discuss ways to improve. 

That doesn’t mean leaders should always correct others or offer criticism immediately. The point of feedback is to change behavior and improve performance. Sometimes, there needs to be some space between performance and feedback so others are ready to process it. But consistently storing criticism for another time is a recipe for conversational disaster. 

When leaders finally accept that their role is to criticize the behavior and not the person, there is little reason to save it. Focusing on behavior or action reduces the need for emotion. Because the correction is about a preferred action, there is no reason for the conversation to become personal. Team members don’t feel attacked or insulted by feedback when it is relatively fresh and in small doses. 

The best leaders give team members constant feedback, positive and negative, in a particular order. Telling people what they did well before describing what they could do better gives feedback the critical balance necessary for others to act on it. If a leader can’t find positives to emphasize, it is a sign they lack objectivity or awareness. We all respond better to criticism when it is preceded by specific praise. 

On the other hand, when we receive a barrage of criticism that has escaped after being held in the prison of a critical leader’s mind, it is going to hurt and offend. The goal for good leaders is to keep the feedback coming. A continual stream of praise and criticism is the best prescription for leaders and team members. Save people with criticism instead of saving it up for them.