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This is one of the more challenging ones.

Over a decade ago, I attended a training class. The instructor emphasized the importance of: responding instead of reacting and compartmentalization. I am still far from adequate in either, but I keep trying.

It is interesting, yesterday a co-worker and I were talking about the importance of giving people the benefit of the doubt and still checking the boxes.

Thanks for your time.

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Good morning, Joe.

I’ve not found compartmentalization very helpful. Unless the practice you’re referring to is different from the pop culture notion that I think it means. I’ve actually found a much deeper and immediate exploration into understanding (a very deep empathy?) lets my scientist brain not let my emotional brain get offended.

It’s how I don’t take others actions personally… almost like a dissociative approach— is that what you also mean by compartmentalization?

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Good morning Jennifer,

I try to keep work at work and personal at home. I have a close friend from work.

I make an effort not to discuss work when we are hanging out. The exception is if he brings up something and/or we are discussing an article about our industry. Sounds like you have the same thoughts and aspirations;).

Thanks for your time.

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This is such a great topic!! Something I work on with clients is identifying the somatic experience that comes with being activated or triggered. This can often help, as we don’t always know what will trigger us. Or even if we do, when the amygdala gets hijacked we may not have access to our rational brain.

But tuning in to how our body feels can help give the moment of pause to ask those three questions (getting back to our rational brain). Maybe it’s the zip of anxiety shooting up through your sternum… or your muscles tightening and clenching… for some it’s holding their breath… usually there’s a big sense of urgency that doesn’t come from reality.

If you can take the time to look back on some reactions you’ve had, and identify what your physical experience is in these reaction moments, you can begin to notice them as they happen. It’s definitely a process! But as you hone the skill, you’ll find responding becomes a more natural behavior!

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Thanks for your comment, Jamie.

Sounds as if the behavioral practice to work on here would be in the "noticing" and "pausing" first before we can even get to the "not reacting" part. Breaking the former bad reactions down by the sub steps that include observing the physical responses sounds like a helpful exercise.

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