People resist incorporating the feedback they receive by responding in ways that suggest they will make change when they really have no intention to do so.
These responses resonate. I'm reminded of The Dude's famous words in movie, The Big Lebowski, “Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man...” Achieving breakthrough often requires multiple conversations. Not because we want to have them. Who would? But because they are necessary.
"Your success can be measured by the amount of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have each week” -Tim Ferris
If you're getting that kind of pushback, you need to go back to basics and work on the relationship first. Without relationship, there's no dialogue. There has to be mutual respect and compassionate intent for feedback to be effective.
Absolutely, John. These words showing up in conversations might give a leader plenty of indicator lights on their dashboard to address. The important part is to recognize that they are illuminating, and not just power past them.
However, do you think a phrase like "I'm working on that" will always indicate a relationship issue? Couldn't there be plenty of other root issues to resistance to feedback?
It sheds light on some issues when dealing with a fixed mindset (Dweck. 2006).
My main concern is often times multiple reasons listed are legitimate. For example, team members are often times working on it. Additionally, a lot of team members/frontline workers have experience.
Often times the new manager/s are still learning the ropes. While we all want members with a growth mindset (Dweck. 2006). We often don't have that. Additionally, many of these members bring value. The real challenge is breaking through to them, AND showing you care about them, the mission, and the organization.
This can only be accomplished over time and merit.
Regardless, we'd be wise to follow our order/s. The only exception would be if those orders are illegal, immoral, and/or unethical. If that is the case, then it'd be prudent to leave.
These responses resonate. I'm reminded of The Dude's famous words in movie, The Big Lebowski, “Well, that's just, like, your opinion, man...” Achieving breakthrough often requires multiple conversations. Not because we want to have them. Who would? But because they are necessary.
"Your success can be measured by the amount of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have each week” -Tim Ferris
You've just broken the ice on Big Lebowski quotes showing up in this newsletter, Rich.
You're welcome! Haha.
To give feedback is an act of care.
If you're getting that kind of pushback, you need to go back to basics and work on the relationship first. Without relationship, there's no dialogue. There has to be mutual respect and compassionate intent for feedback to be effective.
Should a leader not deliver feedback during times where a relationship is out of balance?
Some relationships could take weeks or months to get back into balance, don't leaders still need to deliver feedback during that window?
Good morning John,
Spot on. Finding ways to connect, then building the relationship is essential. The caveat is if it's not genuine. Good luck getting anywhere.
Thank you for your post and time.
-Joe
Absolutely, John. These words showing up in conversations might give a leader plenty of indicator lights on their dashboard to address. The important part is to recognize that they are illuminating, and not just power past them.
However, do you think a phrase like "I'm working on that" will always indicate a relationship issue? Couldn't there be plenty of other root issues to resistance to feedback?
Good morning,
I appreciate your topic.
It sheds light on some issues when dealing with a fixed mindset (Dweck. 2006).
My main concern is often times multiple reasons listed are legitimate. For example, team members are often times working on it. Additionally, a lot of team members/frontline workers have experience.
Often times the new manager/s are still learning the ropes. While we all want members with a growth mindset (Dweck. 2006). We often don't have that. Additionally, many of these members bring value. The real challenge is breaking through to them, AND showing you care about them, the mission, and the organization.
This can only be accomplished over time and merit.
Regardless, we'd be wise to follow our order/s. The only exception would be if those orders are illegal, immoral, and/or unethical. If that is the case, then it'd be prudent to leave.
Thank you for your time.
Joe, many reasons people resist feedback CAN BE legitimate.
Resistance doesn't always indicate excuses.
Leaders often just need to do a better job at recognizing that resistance is actually there before deciding how to wisely proceed.