To be considered charming, a person must attract and captivate others with their words, actions, and demeanor. Charming people create a positive atmosphere through their warmth, friendliness, and confidence. They show a genuine interest in others and build rapport by focusing all of their attention on others in social situations.
A fascinating post. You are correct that charm is considered a bit sleazy and manipulative, but charm can also be genuine. Charm is a quality that great leaders have, but charm is not the mark of a great leader. A charming person--genuine or otherwise--is not necessarily a leader. The distinction may be obvious, but it is worth making.
Is there a link between charm and chivalry? Personally I try my best to be a gentleman. Coupled with my natural tendency to listen to folk and genuinely engage with them some of my behaviour is linked to being a gentleman. Thinking of others, courtesy in conversations, and upholding a moral code.
A charming leader I can think of was a manager I had. The company didn't give him an respect as a leader but he certainly earned the title from his staff. He had the gift of the gab, women would swoon over him and the blokes idolised him, however, get on the wrong side of him and you'd know it. I couldn't say if his charm was genuine or a tool he used, but he was far better than his replacements.
An interesting topic today.
Who doesn't like a decent person?
It's funny you mentioned charm schools. I had no idea that was a thing. Decades ago, while in Catholic school, my brother and I took a manners class. Our folks thought it would be a good idea. I will say, we didn't think much of it then, but it actually taught us some basic skills. Some of which I still use today. Sometimes we need to be brutal. Mostly though, regardless of rank, status, class, etc.. we can all aspire to gentleman or ladies.
Thanks for your time.
Charming leaders are life-long learners. Their curiosity keeps them humble. I know this journey.
When leaders are charming yet humble, that's where the leadership magic lies.
Define Charm - it's also a quality of being attractive and pleasing. To charm someone is to attract them. Based on this definition I think Charm fits better within your Tone & Style guide than an Admired Leadership behavior. When I interact with a charming person, my red flag detector is raised and I check my back pocket. I feel most people who can ‘turn on the charm’ lack better suited skills to influence and persuade others and they resort to ‘the art of seduction’. Fine for dating, but keep it out of the workplace IMHO. A sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.
Sociopaths often excel in their ability to charm - which is why they often get to the top. With charm we also risk the cult of personality around a leader, and when that leader goes everything falls apart. Best to distribute leadership qualities more broadly.