Are Great Leaders Charming?
To be considered charming, a person must attract and captivate others with their words, actions, and demeanor. Charming people create a positive atmosphere through their warmth, friendliness, and confidence. They show a genuine interest in others and build rapport by focusing all of their attention on others in social situations.
These endearing qualities make others feel better about themselves. Charming people create a deep and lasting connection to people through their curiosity. They want to learn about people and engage them in conversations. Charming people are more approachable and interested. That makes people want to be around them.
Here's a wild conclusion. Great leaders are charming.
The qualities of charming sound a lot like what the best leaders seek to be and do. While not every leader needs to be charming in order to be successful, making others the focal point of interaction creates the goodwill that binds relationships. Leaders who captivate others by focusing on them create the followership necessary to achieve extraordinary results.
Most leaders frown at the idea of being charming as a reflection of quality leadership. Reasonably so. They often view charm as guile or false warmth. Or they see charm as woven into the fabric of charisma, an idea that has worn out its welcome as an ingredient in effective leadership.
This resistance may also be a result of the checkered history of the concept. A century ago, charm schools were chartered throughout the world to teach the secrets of social grace, etiquette, decorum, poise, and personal grooming to privileged young people. Charm was taught as a means to get ahead socially or to find a wealthy mate, not as a pathway to leadership success.
Yet, it is important to note that the idea of charm came of age before leaders and organizations gave up command-and-control leadership for more inclusive and empowering styles. We may be left with a bad taste about the role of charm in leadership, but the fact remains that much of what it means to be charming is what leaders strive for to create cohesive relationships and teams.
Perhaps it is time to revisit the role of charm as it relates to leadership. We often think of leaders as people with a presence and gravitas worthy of our notice. In contrast, a charming leader is one who notices you. Maybe all leaders need to be more charming.
A fascinating post. You are correct that charm is considered a bit sleazy and manipulative, but charm can also be genuine. Charm is a quality that great leaders have, but charm is not the mark of a great leader. A charming person--genuine or otherwise--is not necessarily a leader. The distinction may be obvious, but it is worth making.
Is there a link between charm and chivalry? Personally I try my best to be a gentleman. Coupled with my natural tendency to listen to folk and genuinely engage with them some of my behaviour is linked to being a gentleman. Thinking of others, courtesy in conversations, and upholding a moral code.
A charming leader I can think of was a manager I had. The company didn't give him an respect as a leader but he certainly earned the title from his staff. He had the gift of the gab, women would swoon over him and the blokes idolised him, however, get on the wrong side of him and you'd know it. I couldn't say if his charm was genuine or a tool he used, but he was far better than his replacements.