Offering feedback when others are generally unaware of the negative impact they are having can be tricky. When a trusted colleague or leader unknowingly becomes more negative, dominant, distracted, status-conscious, or disengaged (among other issues), we face a unique feedback challenge. How do we offer this feedback without creating a strong and negative reaction? The next time you confront this dilemma, think about suggesting to your colleague that they are “acting out of character.”
Dec 1, 2021Liked by Admired Leadership, Michael Gale
Messaging based on personal point of view works good here "Are you ok? You don't seem to be your normal <cheerful/optimistic/happy/content> self these days", "This isn't the level of performance I'm used to seeing from you." both send messages of confidence, concern, and caution.
It is a great framework to deliver framework to children, as it projects an encouraging ideal.
The only caution one might offer in using this wording on a significant other is if it comes across as a "clever technique." Not meaning to pick on you here, the wording you used is something we try to avoid as much as possible. If things are perceived by others as being "tried as techniques" they have a tendency to be perceived as not genuine words.
But to your question, absolutely. If you're partner is known for being cheerful or optimistic or level headed -- projecting back to their normal character is a great way to deliver critical feedback.
Messaging based on personal point of view works good here "Are you ok? You don't seem to be your normal <cheerful/optimistic/happy/content> self these days", "This isn't the level of performance I'm used to seeing from you." both send messages of confidence, concern, and caution.
Thanks, Tim. Well put.
That's a helpful alternate, Tim. So glad you're here...being your normal helpful self!
Clever technique. Have you tried this with your significant other?
It is a great framework to deliver framework to children, as it projects an encouraging ideal.
The only caution one might offer in using this wording on a significant other is if it comes across as a "clever technique." Not meaning to pick on you here, the wording you used is something we try to avoid as much as possible. If things are perceived by others as being "tried as techniques" they have a tendency to be perceived as not genuine words.
But to your question, absolutely. If you're partner is known for being cheerful or optimistic or level headed -- projecting back to their normal character is a great way to deliver critical feedback.