Where Do You Stand With Your Leader?

Leaders commonly expect team members to check in with them when engaging in important tasks and assignments. Some leaders insist on being asked for their views, while other leaders simply want to be kept up to speed on what has transpired. 

Looking at a composite of conversations leaders have with team members, we can generalize and say there are four levels of inquiry leaders come to expect from specific team members. The questions and requests reflect the kind of trust and confidence leaders have in a particular team member. While team members often vacillate between the levels of these questions or requests, they typically have to “live” more often in one of them. 

Here are the questions and requests team members utilize with leaders ranked in a hierarchy of trust from low to high:

1. What should I do?

2. Here’s what I think I should do, what do you think?

3. This is what I’m going to do, stop me if I’m wrong or if you want to discuss.   

4. This is what I did. Is there anything you want to know? 

Some leaders expect to hear the same question or make the same request of everyone. This is because they are, say, overly mistrustful or too trusting. However, most leaders deal with specific team members based on their track records and experience. It is not unusual for those with little experience, either with an assignment or the leader, to be required to operate at levels 1 or 2. 

Even for experienced team members, establishing a more trusting expectation is not always easy with some leaders. Once a pattern is established, it is up to the team member to push to the next level. 

Leaders generally don’t let team members graduate from one level to the next. Instead, they require those below them to engage in the next level of trusting conversation by just doing it and observing the leader’s reaction. 

The goal for every team member should be to live at the highest level of trust with their leader and to simply keep the leader informed about what they are up to regarding an important assignment or task. Leaders who often unconsciously operate at lower levels of trust need to get comfortable as soon as they can with being kept apprised of actions already taken rather than having more experienced team members having to ask for input. 

The real question is: Where do you stand with your leader? What level most accurately reflects the conversation your leader expects or accepts? If the trust level is lower than you want it to be, don’t ask for permission to move up the ladder. Just engage at the next level and see how your leader responds. Take the chance. Trust is not only earned, it is also negotiated.