Self-awareness is not as common among team members as we would like to believe. Truly knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses in vivid detail can be elusive for some. Colleagues with low self-awareness are also commonly blind to how others see and judge them and their skills.
I don't think I've ever pushed back against one of your posts. I read them daily & I'm usually left with a dropped jaw in admiration of the wisdom. To be clear, my "push back" here is meant with the utmost respect and gratitude.
I'm focused on...
"The misalignment between what some team members think they can do and what they’re actually capable of doing can create huge disappointment." "Even for those without self-awareness, just seeing how a large swath of colleagues perceives them becomes irrefutable."
Perhaps I'm the "unaware" person here, but I'm reticent to tell anyone that there is a gap between their aspirations and their capabilities. What is the advantage of bringing this person back to reality? Does the mandate to connect them to "reality as you see it" really trump their current way of interacting with the world? Why would I turn to the perceptions of others be so valuable a commodity?
I have not been in a corporate environment for many years. Perhaps I have not encountered the "type" of person in question here. (Or maybe I am this person - LOL). In this scenario, is the person's inflated confidence causing problems with workflow or comradery? Is the "huge disappointment" on the part of the leader/company or is that likely to rest with the overconfident person?
This is a situation that comes up often when a person like this reaches for a promotion that is well outside of their reality. If it were just a matter of allowing someone to live in blissful ignorance of their own ability gap, you might consider saying nothing. But this ability gap will continue to show up. The unaware person might be in line for repeated disappointments with a cycle of missed promotions that come as a real surprise — over and over.
In these moments, we aren’t dismantling aspiration in a person who is aware of the work they have to put in… the person is instead unaware of their ability gap.
Saying nothing doesn’t make them better, nor will keeping them in their blissful ignorance.
Leaders who care for their team members, care to make them better, (even the members who are unaware how big their abilities gap is) … need advice on how they might make this situation, and this colleague, better.
In the scenario where this person is asking to be promoted, your admonition seems much more appropriate. At the end of the day, making this situation and person better is an objective I can fully support. :) I think that is why I resonate so much with your posts. I would love to look back at the end of any day with the certainty that I had done that consistently.
If this scenario were about an uncoordinated, unathletic child who just knew he was going to play in the NBA - you might elect NOT to give them the reality check we are talking about here.
You might let their ambition fuel their character development despite your confidence they will fall short of their goals.
Even in that scenario, a caring parent would work to make sure that this child maintained their career optionality instead of letting them burn every bridge except for the NBA.
I don't think I've ever pushed back against one of your posts. I read them daily & I'm usually left with a dropped jaw in admiration of the wisdom. To be clear, my "push back" here is meant with the utmost respect and gratitude.
I'm focused on...
"The misalignment between what some team members think they can do and what they’re actually capable of doing can create huge disappointment." "Even for those without self-awareness, just seeing how a large swath of colleagues perceives them becomes irrefutable."
Perhaps I'm the "unaware" person here, but I'm reticent to tell anyone that there is a gap between their aspirations and their capabilities. What is the advantage of bringing this person back to reality? Does the mandate to connect them to "reality as you see it" really trump their current way of interacting with the world? Why would I turn to the perceptions of others be so valuable a commodity?
I have not been in a corporate environment for many years. Perhaps I have not encountered the "type" of person in question here. (Or maybe I am this person - LOL). In this scenario, is the person's inflated confidence causing problems with workflow or comradery? Is the "huge disappointment" on the part of the leader/company or is that likely to rest with the overconfident person?
Submitted with gratitude and sincere curiosity.
No problem, Dave.
Always happy to hear genuine pushback.
This is a situation that comes up often when a person like this reaches for a promotion that is well outside of their reality. If it were just a matter of allowing someone to live in blissful ignorance of their own ability gap, you might consider saying nothing. But this ability gap will continue to show up. The unaware person might be in line for repeated disappointments with a cycle of missed promotions that come as a real surprise — over and over.
In these moments, we aren’t dismantling aspiration in a person who is aware of the work they have to put in… the person is instead unaware of their ability gap.
Saying nothing doesn’t make them better, nor will keeping them in their blissful ignorance.
Leaders who care for their team members, care to make them better, (even the members who are unaware how big their abilities gap is) … need advice on how they might make this situation, and this colleague, better.
I do appreciate you and your response.
In the scenario where this person is asking to be promoted, your admonition seems much more appropriate. At the end of the day, making this situation and person better is an objective I can fully support. :) I think that is why I resonate so much with your posts. I would love to look back at the end of any day with the certainty that I had done that consistently.
Blessings.
If this scenario were about an uncoordinated, unathletic child who just knew he was going to play in the NBA - you might elect NOT to give them the reality check we are talking about here.
You might let their ambition fuel their character development despite your confidence they will fall short of their goals.
Even in that scenario, a caring parent would work to make sure that this child maintained their career optionality instead of letting them burn every bridge except for the NBA.