What Should I Discuss at My One-on-Ones?

Best practice suggests that one-on-one meetings between a leader and a team member should occur weekly and be driven by the report, not the leader.

The best one-on-one is where the team member’s agenda shapes the discussion, after which the leader has their turn. This guarantees that team members will get what they need from the meeting while also learning what is on the leader’s mind.

Team members must come prepared to discuss those issues that are important to them, especially those matters where they are stuck, need guidance, or require assistance.

By insisting that team members drive the meeting, the discussion is more likely to become a two-way dialogue, as opposed to the one-way monologues leaders too often create when they control the meeting from the outset.

Leaders come second in this format, but still play a critical role with their questions, requests for updates, feedback, and discussion points. In totality, a solid one-on-one covers a lot of ground and hits on several topics in 30 minutes or less.

The ideal structure for a weekly one-on-one is the 10-10-10 format: 10 minutes for the direct report to share what they want to discuss, 10 minutes for the leader to provide feedback, share observations, or raise issues they need to cover, and 10 minutes focused on priorities, planning, and goal setting.

Such a format should easily allow for the parties to cover the ground they need to, which typically includes a personal check-in, project updates, problems or challenges, key decisions, and any directions needed to execute.

It’s always a good idea to review results and any “wins” the team member has been a part of to make this conversation more motivational.

One topic often overlooked is a discussion of talent below the direct report. Discussing who is on track or off track and what talent issues should be on the leader’s radar shouldn’t wait for talent reviews.

Doing this weekly gives talent the emphasis it needs and deserves. Leaders need to know who is struggling and who needs a message directly from them, recognizing their stellar performance.

One-on-ones are the building blocks of alignment, accountability, and relationships. Good leaders make them the highest priority. That’s because they know that the best one-on-ones meet the team member’s needs, not those of the leader.