What Does It Really Mean to Lead by Example?

Leading by example is exceedingly hard. Not because leaders can’t set a strong example others will follow, but rather because truly leading by example requires near-perfect consistency. Any deviation, exception, hypocrisy, or departure from the example negates whatever made it so worth following to begin with.

A leader who displays and acts with integrity can’t do so 99 percent of the time and still serve as an example. It’s 100 percent or nothing when it comes to illustrating for others what we hope they will emulate. 

Team members and colleagues watch leaders like hawks. They zoom in on what leaders do with great consistency and purpose. When they have immense respect for those leaders, they learn from their example. 

Leaders instinctively know this. The best leaders do everything in their power to show up in ways others will imitate. If they’re lucky, the example they set will have a profound impact on others, shaping the way they think, act, and engage. 

Not all examples are equal, however. Of the many ideas and values that leaders might stand for and display with great consistency, some have a much bigger impact than others. We presume leaders do some things because they are leaders. They work hard, commit to the team, make sound decisions and communicate openly about the vision, strategy, and goals of the team. Team members rely on these examples but generally don’t take much away from them. 

What really matters is how leaders carry themselves and interact with others in various situations. It is that example that speaks the loudest to team members, colleagues, and family members. 

Leaders who set the example of treating others with respect at all times, maintaining composure (especially under pressure), reacting without defensiveness when challenged, and objectively probing different points of view hold disproportionate weight.  

It is the way leaders engage with others that makes the most indelible impression on those around them. While personal processes, routines, and other habits are on the radar for those who observe leaders, it is the example of inner character and how it is displayed that makes leaders worth emulating. As famed humanitarian Albert Schweitzer once noted, “Example is not the main thing [in influencing others]. It is the only thing.”