The Solace of a Third Place

Remember the TV show Cheers, where “everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came"?

The fictional bar represented something vital that sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined a "third place"—somewhere between home and work where people gather, connect, and find respite from their daily responsibilities.

A third place can take many forms: a physical location, a group of people who gather regularly, an activity that demands your full presence, or a hobby that pulls you completely out of your usual world.

The best leaders understand what really happens in places like Cheers. Beyond the pint, third places provide the essential space where we can step away from our roles and responsibilities to think differently.

The most effective leaders are intentional about having a third place in their lives. Constantly toggling between work and home doesn't just limit perspective, it compromises the ability to make clear decisions and see future opportunities.

A leader’s capacity to think strategically and lead well depends on regularly stepping away from the demands of both professional and personal life.

What matters isn't the location of your third place. It's what happens there. Examples of a third place could be:

• A Saturday morning yoga class where work never enters the conversation

• A local diner where you’ve become part of the morning crowd

• A weekend running ritual where titles and status don’t matter

• A community choir practice every Tuesday night where you’re the resident tenor

• A monthly book club where deep friendships have formed over a decade

• A Sunday evening pottery class where your hands do the thinking

Third places offer an environment where you can shift out of execution mode and immediate pressures, where you can see challenges more clearly.

The most admired leaders make these spaces non-negotiable because they know their effectiveness depends on having room for reflection and renewal. Without this, leaders often remain trapped in reactive thinking, missing the strategic insights that come from stepping back.

Where is your third place? If you can't immediately answer that question, it might be time to find one.