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Dr. Jim Salvucci's avatar

This is good advice, but the appreciation has to be sincere and its expression nuanced. People who end requests with “thank you in advance” come across as crass and manipulative. The examples of pre-gratitude you offer are more on the mark than what one typically sees.

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Admired Leadership's avatar

Absolutely, Dr. Jm. Specificity does a lot to convince people the words are authentic. Something we can all work on.

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Wendy Scott's avatar

Agree. You have to build trust first, or people might take it the wrong way.

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Jo Lein's avatar

I was thinking the same thing!

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Jo Lein's avatar

This is such an interesting take on behavioral nudges—especially the idea of using preemptive gratitude as a tool for reinforcing norms. It makes me wonder about the fine line between a nudge and outright manipulation. At what point does a well-placed cue become coercive rather than reinforcing autonomy?

For example, if thanking people in advance for their candidness leads to more openness in a meeting, that’s great. But could it also subtly pressure someone into speaking when they might have preferred to stay silent?

I’m also thinking about the unintended consequences of nudges. If we use them too frequently or in the wrong context, do they lose their power? Or worse—could they create skepticism, making people feel like they’re being subtly controlled rather than genuinely encouraged?

Curious to hear others’ thoughts—where do you see the ethical boundaries of nudging in leadership?

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Admired Leadership's avatar

They'd absolutely loose their power.

Credibility is typically compromised when one tries to use good behaviors as tactics.

The coercion question comes down to good judgement, as leadership is in its essence 'making people better'... but not 'making people better whether they like it or not'.

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Wendy Scott's avatar

Some good points - I think if you are a decent person/leader and trying to get good outcomes without manipulations, it's OK. Learning how to nudge is basically being nice. Thanking people in advance instead of nagging (I'll have to try it with my partner!)

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Joel Trammell's avatar

Thanks! Brilliant reminder that small, proactive gestures can yield outsized results

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Robert Ta's avatar

Agree with this wholeheartedly. Sincerity coupled with proactiveness/preparedness shows gratitude and appreciation for your people.

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Joe Loughery's avatar

Good morning,

Important stuff for sure.

I have found genuine gratitude to be welcome.

Thank you for your time.

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Mark J. Cundiff's avatar

Love this perspective on the power of positive reinforcement before behaviors. It works as an antecedent for the behaviors you want to reinforce positively. I have never seen this approach explained before. Great post!

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Wendy Scott's avatar

Nice article. I know that playing classical music in train stations stops young people hanging around but I haven't heard of any of your examples before.

Oh, actually, I've just remembered one. There was some research done where people were asked in a survey if they were the sort of person who gave to charity. Then people went to the survey takers houses asking for donations. The people who said yes in the survey were much more likely to give a donation that people who either said no (obviously) or hadn't done the survey.

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