I might even take it a step further—it’s not that the best leaders demonstrate these behaviors, it’s that *only* true leaders do. Without them, you haven’t earned the title. You’ve been quietly demoted to “manager”… or worse, “boss” (at least from where I’m sitting!)
We hear that from people more and more recently, Julie. That 'leader' should be reserved for those who have weighed the obligations instead of just accepted the position.
Do you see 'boss' being used as a derogatory often?
Oh, I wish! But it should be—here's my perspective on why.
You've beckoned the English Literature & Linguistics major in me to dissect this—and once I let her loose, it's hard to put a lid on her. So, at the risk of an overly detailed response, here is an overly detailed response.
My mind immediately goes to: Where did these words originate?
Boss: originates from the Dutch "baas," meaning "master" or "overseer."
Manager: derives from the Italian verb "maneggiare," meaning "to handle," especially referring to horses (from Latin "manus," meaning "hand").
Leader: comes from Old English "lædan," meaning "to guide" or "to bring forth."
I could stop there. I think that alone makes the point.
But just to push it a bit further… Would it ever feel positive to be described as “bossy”? That’s a hard no, especially for women. Has anyone ever enjoyed being “bossed around”? I’ve never heard someone say, “Ah yes, love that for me.”
Instead of carrying a derogatory connotation, I hear "boss" tossed around in corporate settings, usually out of linguistic convenience. Other times, it’s delivered playfully—“You’re the boss!” or “Whatever the boss says!”—with no obvious trace of criticism. As someone who’s hyper-attuned to tone (I know, self-praise is no recommendation, so take this for what it's worth), I often read these as genuine attempts at levity, not passive-aggression.
Language matters. Not just because words reflect our attitudes—but because they shape them. And the word boss? It’s overdue for the criticism it deserves. (Though I’m encouraged to hear your readers are catching on.)
P.S. I swear I’m fun at parties. This might not be helping my case—but I stand by every syllable.
I have always enjoyed seeing others succeed. I wasn't very good at most sports (yet I played them). Sometimes comraderie is the only thing that matters. Fast forward to adulthood. When I first got into management. I was taught to create bench strength. This is no easy feat (especially in a physical job, most of society didn't respect).
One thing that other managers helped me understand is that one must take care of themselves and their team/s before assisting others with their assignments. We all have a job to do.
My biggest takeaway is it's about treating others with respect, serving the customer, and acting with integrity. All while striving for excellence. To have any hope at continued improvement we must build bench strength AND execute.
I so appreciate this article! Most of the managers that I've worked with over the years have had the heart of a servant leader. And, there have been some, who had the heart to serve, yet had never had a role model or who had never worked for a servant leader. This made it difficult for them to know how to be a servant leader for their team. Once they saw how they could do it, they blossomed into the leader they always wanted to be.
True. It is hard to know what to do until the behaviors are modeled for you.
It is best that people don't get trapped in their thinking.... that they are going to change things for the better with their thoughts instead of their actions.
I love the acknowledgment in this that the sort of leader you are dictates the sort of team you attract. If you are someone who creates an environment for your team to thrive and grow, you will attract highly motivated team members .
Reputation for talent developing workplaces? Who even has that? Plus alot of companies are full of hype and when you accept a position you are in for a rude awakening. The fact is there are too many competing influences in workplaces in general so it is important to focus on your team and its dynamics since that is realistically what you can influence. Corporate culture is a micro of our country's culture of corruption and toxicity. There are distict shifts happening reflected in trends away from traditional paths. These are an example of society rejecting these ways and for good reason - they are unsustainable. Leadership or otherwise, the point is we all need to care about the collective, the other, not just the self. And we all need to encourage and build each other up which involves an essential aspect - accountability.
I might even take it a step further—it’s not that the best leaders demonstrate these behaviors, it’s that *only* true leaders do. Without them, you haven’t earned the title. You’ve been quietly demoted to “manager”… or worse, “boss” (at least from where I’m sitting!)
We hear that from people more and more recently, Julie. That 'leader' should be reserved for those who have weighed the obligations instead of just accepted the position.
Do you see 'boss' being used as a derogatory often?
Oh, I wish! But it should be—here's my perspective on why.
You've beckoned the English Literature & Linguistics major in me to dissect this—and once I let her loose, it's hard to put a lid on her. So, at the risk of an overly detailed response, here is an overly detailed response.
My mind immediately goes to: Where did these words originate?
Boss: originates from the Dutch "baas," meaning "master" or "overseer."
Manager: derives from the Italian verb "maneggiare," meaning "to handle," especially referring to horses (from Latin "manus," meaning "hand").
Leader: comes from Old English "lædan," meaning "to guide" or "to bring forth."
I could stop there. I think that alone makes the point.
But just to push it a bit further… Would it ever feel positive to be described as “bossy”? That’s a hard no, especially for women. Has anyone ever enjoyed being “bossed around”? I’ve never heard someone say, “Ah yes, love that for me.”
Instead of carrying a derogatory connotation, I hear "boss" tossed around in corporate settings, usually out of linguistic convenience. Other times, it’s delivered playfully—“You’re the boss!” or “Whatever the boss says!”—with no obvious trace of criticism. As someone who’s hyper-attuned to tone (I know, self-praise is no recommendation, so take this for what it's worth), I often read these as genuine attempts at levity, not passive-aggression.
Language matters. Not just because words reflect our attitudes—but because they shape them. And the word boss? It’s overdue for the criticism it deserves. (Though I’m encouraged to hear your readers are catching on.)
P.S. I swear I’m fun at parties. This might not be helping my case—but I stand by every syllable.
Scrabble parties? :)
It's like you can read my mind.
PS: Gave your suggestion a try and expanded some thoughts on leadership :)
I have always enjoyed seeing others succeed. I wasn't very good at most sports (yet I played them). Sometimes comraderie is the only thing that matters. Fast forward to adulthood. When I first got into management. I was taught to create bench strength. This is no easy feat (especially in a physical job, most of society didn't respect).
One thing that other managers helped me understand is that one must take care of themselves and their team/s before assisting others with their assignments. We all have a job to do.
My biggest takeaway is it's about treating others with respect, serving the customer, and acting with integrity. All while striving for excellence. To have any hope at continued improvement we must build bench strength AND execute.
Thank you for your time.
What you wrote, Joe, really resonates for me! Managers are on the line for performance and the growth of their team. No easy feat some times.
I so appreciate this article! Most of the managers that I've worked with over the years have had the heart of a servant leader. And, there have been some, who had the heart to serve, yet had never had a role model or who had never worked for a servant leader. This made it difficult for them to know how to be a servant leader for their team. Once they saw how they could do it, they blossomed into the leader they always wanted to be.
True. It is hard to know what to do until the behaviors are modeled for you.
It is best that people don't get trapped in their thinking.... that they are going to change things for the better with their thoughts instead of their actions.
I love the acknowledgment in this that the sort of leader you are dictates the sort of team you attract. If you are someone who creates an environment for your team to thrive and grow, you will attract highly motivated team members .
Love this! It just seems common sense the more you put into your employees, the more you get back.
Reputation for talent developing workplaces? Who even has that? Plus alot of companies are full of hype and when you accept a position you are in for a rude awakening. The fact is there are too many competing influences in workplaces in general so it is important to focus on your team and its dynamics since that is realistically what you can influence. Corporate culture is a micro of our country's culture of corruption and toxicity. There are distict shifts happening reflected in trends away from traditional paths. These are an example of society rejecting these ways and for good reason - they are unsustainable. Leadership or otherwise, the point is we all need to care about the collective, the other, not just the self. And we all need to encourage and build each other up which involves an essential aspect - accountability.