This is a very valuable distinction that I had not seen before. I’m sure I’m not the only leader who thinks he is engaging in dialogue while those around them think it’s a debate.
There’s an element of power hierarchy that comes in to play here as well. As the CEO, I know that sometimes my engaging in dialogue or discussion can be perceived giving orders or instructions in an indirect manner. I try to be careful about this to be sure to state when I’m exploring options and not expressing a firm opinion. But this article help me realize that might not be sufficient.
I am known as someone who enjoys a good argument. While I don’t have to win, I can sometimes carry it on too long, just for the intellectual stimulation, I get from it, especially when I’m tired. Based on this article, when I catch myself in something that feels like an argument, I’m going to try to unpack what we are doing in terms of these distinctions and act accordingly.
I sometimes open the discussion with clear statements that I am fulfilling another role in the discussion (e.g., I am here as a product manager) and then look for opportunities to reiterate the role I am in. I have often thought of buying actual hats with the roles on them but I have not yet gotten around to trying that. I think that could be both lighthearted and effective. No matter what, the Blue Wall Syndrome is real, even in small companies and we need to recognize it to avoid bad assumptions. (Ask me if you don't know the reference).
No, it is another story - I cannot recall the origin, it might even have been an HBS case. A new CEO of a large company was visiting the various factories and offices. In one facility as the local manager was escorting him upstairs to the meeting room, they passed some artwork on the wall. He commented in passing that he had a similar painting at home in his living room and his wife had him paint the living blue just for the painting. The meetings went well. Three months later the CEO made a second visit to that factory to discover that they had painted all the walls blue.
The lesson is that, as a leader, you have to be really careful about what you say and how you say it. Subordinates can often hear an off-the-cuff musing as a request or an order.
This is an excellent taxonomy of leadership communication. The communication forms may sometimes bleed into one another, but they are distinct. I wonder how many leaders primarily rely on one form but think they are using another.
We notice most people have no idea how to conduct a good dialogue. We are so conditioned towards advocacy we too easily abandon good dialogue practices.
In higher ed, do you see great examples of teachers/classrooms that conduct great dialogue? Or is it just a means to steer group conversation into instructional advocacy?
The purpose of communication in education is similar to but different from leadership communication, but your question is a good one. It's been a few years since I was in higher ed, but most instruction I saw in the classroom was either modified lecture or answer-response. The best teachers, though, would create dialogue with students.
I have long maintained that there is no fundamental difference between great leading and great teaching, that both utilize the same skills, mindsets, and heuristics. Therefore, the dialogue that is best suited for workplace leadership should have a much more prominent place in the classroom than it does.
You’ll enjoy the 15 minutes we spent unpacking this topic a bit more…
https://x.com/admiredleaders/status/1816155014496125323
This is a very valuable distinction that I had not seen before. I’m sure I’m not the only leader who thinks he is engaging in dialogue while those around them think it’s a debate.
There’s an element of power hierarchy that comes in to play here as well. As the CEO, I know that sometimes my engaging in dialogue or discussion can be perceived giving orders or instructions in an indirect manner. I try to be careful about this to be sure to state when I’m exploring options and not expressing a firm opinion. But this article help me realize that might not be sufficient.
I am known as someone who enjoys a good argument. While I don’t have to win, I can sometimes carry it on too long, just for the intellectual stimulation, I get from it, especially when I’m tired. Based on this article, when I catch myself in something that feels like an argument, I’m going to try to unpack what we are doing in terms of these distinctions and act accordingly.
Thank you for some excellent insights.
Exactly, Eric. Status is constantly in play when a leader asks for healthy debate. It looks different when you’re not in the room than when you are.
Are there specific ways you find yourself lowering status in order to get more candid conversation?
I sometimes open the discussion with clear statements that I am fulfilling another role in the discussion (e.g., I am here as a product manager) and then look for opportunities to reiterate the role I am in. I have often thought of buying actual hats with the roles on them but I have not yet gotten around to trying that. I think that could be both lighthearted and effective. No matter what, the Blue Wall Syndrome is real, even in small companies and we need to recognize it to avoid bad assumptions. (Ask me if you don't know the reference).
Is this what wikipedia is calling the "Blue Wall of Silence" Eric? Same reference?
No, it is another story - I cannot recall the origin, it might even have been an HBS case. A new CEO of a large company was visiting the various factories and offices. In one facility as the local manager was escorting him upstairs to the meeting room, they passed some artwork on the wall. He commented in passing that he had a similar painting at home in his living room and his wife had him paint the living blue just for the painting. The meetings went well. Three months later the CEO made a second visit to that factory to discover that they had painted all the walls blue.
The lesson is that, as a leader, you have to be really careful about what you say and how you say it. Subordinates can often hear an off-the-cuff musing as a request or an order.
This is an excellent taxonomy of leadership communication. The communication forms may sometimes bleed into one another, but they are distinct. I wonder how many leaders primarily rely on one form but think they are using another.
Good question.
We notice most people have no idea how to conduct a good dialogue. We are so conditioned towards advocacy we too easily abandon good dialogue practices.
In higher ed, do you see great examples of teachers/classrooms that conduct great dialogue? Or is it just a means to steer group conversation into instructional advocacy?
The purpose of communication in education is similar to but different from leadership communication, but your question is a good one. It's been a few years since I was in higher ed, but most instruction I saw in the classroom was either modified lecture or answer-response. The best teachers, though, would create dialogue with students.
I have long maintained that there is no fundamental difference between great leading and great teaching, that both utilize the same skills, mindsets, and heuristics. Therefore, the dialogue that is best suited for workplace leadership should have a much more prominent place in the classroom than it does.
Great back and forth to read... thank you both.