The value of learning from mistakes and failures cannot be overstated. Creating long-term excellence requires that we view our failures as learning opportunities for personal development. Leaders with this mindset own their missteps and derive a lesson they can carry forward. The popular idea of “failing forward” emphasizes this critical insight.
Founder of Non-Violent Communication, Marshall Rosenburg, often asked audiences "Which game are you playing: Who's Right? or Making Life Wonderful?" I've observed that I've spent a lifetime becoming expert at playing "Who's Right?". When the rules and objectives of that game are occupying my consciousness, I'm very hesitant to admit a failure much less "Teach My Mistakes". I'm curious what others see as blockades to their own "Admission of Mistakes" and "Teaching from them".
Pride.... Pride is a blockade sometimes for me. I've been considered an expert in my trade, so an expert isn't supposed to make mistakes, right? When I was growing up, I was made fun of often for not being smart, being overweight, and not amounting to much. This drove me to become successful in both my career and family. When I make a mistake, I have flashbacks of my younger days of teasing and worried about what others may think. I stand proud sometimes and don't want to give into the humility that God instructs me to have. Repeatedly, when I do humble myself before God and my peers the outcome is amazing. It brings unity and admiration of those involved. Don't get me wrong though, it's hard, in the moment of error, to remember how good it feels to admit mistakes and learn from them.
For me it has been the specific point of pride that comes with not wanting anyone to be my teacher. Maybe it's because I don't want to initially admit that I needed a change of heart or mind, but I tend to be very slow to necessary change when I've got other people chirping at me about it. When I come to a realization myself or thru a syllabus I built on my own, then I'm much more open to the change that needs to take place.
I don't like this about myself, but I see that it is my pattern.
I see a positive side to this. You do value solving your own problems. :) But, I also see that being able to be objective regardless of the "noise" is really where it's at.
I think of it as a problem that needs to be solved because of where it showed up for me in my deconstruction. I wouldn't subject myself to anyone else's teaching unless it was in secret. That stayed secret partly our of fear of having "those books" spotted on my shelf and partly out of my arrogance for wanting to say I changed my own mind without anybody's help.
Amen to this article! I wrote one very similar in February called “You can be a leader or you can be right” (link below)
Admitting mistakes is one of the most important ways to build trust and respect. Too many leaders fail to realize that. We are human, we all make mistakes. It doesn’t make you less of a leader.
Founder of Non-Violent Communication, Marshall Rosenburg, often asked audiences "Which game are you playing: Who's Right? or Making Life Wonderful?" I've observed that I've spent a lifetime becoming expert at playing "Who's Right?". When the rules and objectives of that game are occupying my consciousness, I'm very hesitant to admit a failure much less "Teach My Mistakes". I'm curious what others see as blockades to their own "Admission of Mistakes" and "Teaching from them".
Pride.... Pride is a blockade sometimes for me. I've been considered an expert in my trade, so an expert isn't supposed to make mistakes, right? When I was growing up, I was made fun of often for not being smart, being overweight, and not amounting to much. This drove me to become successful in both my career and family. When I make a mistake, I have flashbacks of my younger days of teasing and worried about what others may think. I stand proud sometimes and don't want to give into the humility that God instructs me to have. Repeatedly, when I do humble myself before God and my peers the outcome is amazing. It brings unity and admiration of those involved. Don't get me wrong though, it's hard, in the moment of error, to remember how good it feels to admit mistakes and learn from them.
This kind of insight is sure to bring you a great deal of peace & happiness.
Thanks for the great questions, Dave.
For me it has been the specific point of pride that comes with not wanting anyone to be my teacher. Maybe it's because I don't want to initially admit that I needed a change of heart or mind, but I tend to be very slow to necessary change when I've got other people chirping at me about it. When I come to a realization myself or thru a syllabus I built on my own, then I'm much more open to the change that needs to take place.
I don't like this about myself, but I see that it is my pattern.
I see a positive side to this. You do value solving your own problems. :) But, I also see that being able to be objective regardless of the "noise" is really where it's at.
Well, you can stay positive. :)
I think of it as a problem that needs to be solved because of where it showed up for me in my deconstruction. I wouldn't subject myself to anyone else's teaching unless it was in secret. That stayed secret partly our of fear of having "those books" spotted on my shelf and partly out of my arrogance for wanting to say I changed my own mind without anybody's help.
Admitting mistakes can be humbling but a humble leader will gain the trust and admiration of their team! Thanks for the reminder today.
Sure thing, Andy, thanks for taking the time.
Amen to this article! I wrote one very similar in February called “You can be a leader or you can be right” (link below)
Admitting mistakes is one of the most important ways to build trust and respect. Too many leaders fail to realize that. We are human, we all make mistakes. It doesn’t make you less of a leader.
https://bytitleonly.substack.com/p/leadership-being-right
Thanks for sharing, Jeff.
Very enjoyable article. Thanks for sharing.