Storytelling is a powerful tool. The stories we tell ourselves often predict our behavior. Before asking a person who does not, has not, or cannot adhere to a leader's request for change, "If you were me, what advice would you give you?" it is helpful for the lead person to ask the teammate, "If you were no longer a mate on this team, what narrative would you recite to yourself, family, and friends about why you are no longer with our organization?" This question gives the leader important information and helps them avoid making hasty and often incorrect assumptions about their team member's character or identity. In short, find out their account, then ask, "What advice would you give yourself?"
This feels like good advice and its not n threatening and doesn’t take someone’s autonomy away. Thanks!
Storytelling is a powerful tool. The stories we tell ourselves often predict our behavior. Before asking a person who does not, has not, or cannot adhere to a leader's request for change, "If you were me, what advice would you give you?" it is helpful for the lead person to ask the teammate, "If you were no longer a mate on this team, what narrative would you recite to yourself, family, and friends about why you are no longer with our organization?" This question gives the leader important information and helps them avoid making hasty and often incorrect assumptions about their team member's character or identity. In short, find out their account, then ask, "What advice would you give yourself?"