Give Me Some Feedback About My Feedback
As author Ken Blanchard emphasizes, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” But not everyone wants to eat that breakfast.
It’s not enough for leaders to simply offer the feedback team members need. Promoting a healthy appetite for feedback is the job of every good leader. That starts with knowing how your feedback lands.
The point of feedback is to change behavior and improve performance. Not surprisingly, when and how a leader delivers feedback has a tremendous influence on whether people resist the criticism and advice or accept and act on it. The many feedback strategies and behaviors available to leaders can add to the success rate, but nothing is as powerful as asking team members for their views about the way feedback is given.
Leaders who are wise enough to ask this question increase the appetite for more feedback in the future. Better yet, they learn how to adjust their style to meet the preferences of those on the receiving end.
Knowing that a leader wants their feedback to register in a way where it will be heard and acted on sends a symbolic message to others as well. It suggests the feedback is about the team member’s improvement and not about the leader’s agenda or need to vent.
Asking for feedback about feedback will also reveal issues of accuracy and timeliness. Team members will often dispute feedback where they believe the leader doesn’t have all the facts or is relying primarily on hearsay. This suggests that leaders might even learn they need a better process for forming their opinions, among other insights.
The key is not to react or fully accept the requests and preferences offered by team members when asked for their feedback about your feedback. Listen, explore, and suggest ways you might act on their ideas. Your willingness to ask the question, listen to the response, and then respond positively to the suggestions matters the most.
Good leaders do their best to adapt their style to meet the needs of those they lead. Asking for feedback about the way you give feedback suggests an agile and adaptive leader who wants to improve in all areas. It often recalibrates the relationship because it reinforces the leader’s positive intent. Just another bonus provided by a simple question.
How recently have you asked for feedback about your feedback? It’s the feedback you’ve been waiting for.
Good morning,
Sound points for being adaptive and developing the ability to read the room.
Thank you for your time.
This is really valuable. I gave someone feedback a few months ago and took an approach that they would know they had made an error of judgement and thought by making light of it, it'd save their embarrassment. Turns out I got it wrong. They didn't know they'd made an error. Big lesson for me!