A powerful dichotomy for understanding the quality of our relationships can be found in the tension between truth and harmony. We naturally privilege one quality over the other in our relationships. Especially with those who are important to us. Truth-over-harmony relationships emphasize the candid search for answers and realities, sometimes at the expense of compromise and peaceful expression. This is not to say truth-over-harmony relationships are always conflictual or rarely enjoy tranquility, but the need to find truth takes precedence over the need to get along.
As someone who tends to be a truth over harmony kind of thinker, I recognize that I practice harmony over truth more often with family relationships...and I think it bothers me.
The tension, like you mention here, is very real.
When I was younger I felt like I needed to be consistent in my thinking and in my relationships in order not to suffer the judgement of a being called a hypocrite. It's not until you start to see the need of to let this tension be free to adjust itself in different relationships that you realize... this is what mature people do.
There is a line you would cross though, where you'd be considered a hypocrite. But I don't think that line is necessarily on this tension between truth and harmony. Perhaps its a parallel line representing a specific value? ...is where the metaphor tells us you're a hypocrite?
As someone who tends to be a truth over harmony kind of thinker, I recognize that I practice harmony over truth more often with family relationships...and I think it bothers me.
The tension, like you mention here, is very real.
When I was younger I felt like I needed to be consistent in my thinking and in my relationships in order not to suffer the judgement of a being called a hypocrite. It's not until you start to see the need of to let this tension be free to adjust itself in different relationships that you realize... this is what mature people do.
There is a line you would cross though, where you'd be considered a hypocrite. But I don't think that line is necessarily on this tension between truth and harmony. Perhaps its a parallel line representing a specific value? ...is where the metaphor tells us you're a hypocrite?