Directing people to do things differently invariably means dropping the Should bomb. Using the word Should is not a request. It is an imperative demand, even if offered politely or with the intention of helping others. When leaders use the word Should
I have an old memory from my childhood of someone yelling at me, “Should’ve would’ve could’ve, but you didn’t!” Don’t be that person. I love the idea of replacing should with could. It is future focused and suggestive rather than directive. I gives the other person a nudge yes, but enough room for them to make the decision on their own.
Love this post. Should is suggestive and a closed loop. It might as well be “shall” in a legal document - binding. Could leaves an open loop and is more geared toward planting the seed of empowerment. Great reminder for closing out the week!
It definitely causes one to pause. Formulating the best verbiage for the right audience is imperative and an art. There should;) be a lot more coulds in the conversations.
I have an old memory from my childhood of someone yelling at me, “Should’ve would’ve could’ve, but you didn’t!” Don’t be that person. I love the idea of replacing should with could. It is future focused and suggestive rather than directive. I gives the other person a nudge yes, but enough room for them to make the decision on their own.
Good morning David,
Haha, yes I have heard that too:).
I like the nudge reference.
Hope you have a good day.
Love this post. Should is suggestive and a closed loop. It might as well be “shall” in a legal document - binding. Could leaves an open loop and is more geared toward planting the seed of empowerment. Great reminder for closing out the week!
Liking that word picture, Josh.
Thanks for it.
We took 15 minutes to talk a bit more about this idea today: https://twitter.com/i/spaces/1zqKVqvgYbmxB
Good morning,
What a practical post!
It definitely causes one to pause. Formulating the best verbiage for the right audience is imperative and an art. There should;) be a lot more coulds in the conversations.
Thank you for your time.
Surely.
Just bringing it into your field of view makes it a valuable addition.
Funny how a simple language choice (one letter) can create a tremendous amount of implied empathy.