A Salute Returning a Salute

In a ceremony at the conclusion of the Civil War, just outside of Appomattox, Virginia, the Confederate Army of the South laid down their weapons before the Union soldiers of the North. 

Union General Ulysses S. Grant asked 4,000 soldiers to line up at attention on one side of the ceremonial battlefield. Robert E. Lee’s defeated infantry units were to march onto the field and place their regimental flags and weapons at the foot of the Union officer in charge. 

As the Confederate contingent entered the field, the commanding Union officer, Joshua Chamberlain of Gettysburg fame, told the Union soldiers to “carry arms,” a posture of respect whereby soldiers hold the rifle in their right hand with the muzzle perpendicular to their shoulders. Everyone understood the command’s meaning, as their military traditions were all formed at West Point. 

A Confederate general riding near the front of the procession appreciated the gesture from Chamberlain and ordered the same posture to be returned by his troops. The incident became known as a “salute returning a salute.” 

Some gestures of respect carry enormous meaning. The idea of the losing team showing respect for the victors has become deeply ingrained into the ideals of good sportsmanship. 

A good loser accepts the loss in a way that shows admiration for both teams and all of the people involved. “Sore losers” denigrate the winner’s moment of victory. Through their sour reactions, they demonstrate why they were unworthy of winning. As a rule, we hold up sore losers as distasteful and without grace. 

But what of the winners? Showing respect for those on the losing side of any contest is even more symbolic. Acknowledging the defeated and displaying respect for their effort and talents carries enormous weight for those who draw meaning from the contest. 

We confer a rare and exalted character to leaders who go out of their way to show respect to those on the losing side. Good winners don’t gloat. They show respect, especially when they don’t have to. 

Great leaders give the kind of respect to others they would want to receive. By holding up the defeated, they point to themselves. In offering grace in a genuine way, they themselves become more graceful. The best leaders know that the ultimate right to be respected is won by respecting others, especially the vanquished.