When Delivering Bad News, Is It Better to Surprise Others or Give Them Advance Notice?

Leaders who deliver a tough message or bad news have a choice to make. Do they surprise those on the receiving end, or do they offer some kind of advance notice to help others prepare for the message? 

There are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches. Surprising people with bad news often creates a quick resolution to the issues involved. The urgency to act is heightened by surprise. This is why so many leaders use surprise when terminating team members or conveying a mandate that will be unpopular. 

When the need to explore the reasons for a swift ending has passed, anything but surprise will create arguments and attempt to persuade the leader to offer a second chance or to consider other options. When the decision is firm, surprise draws matters to a conclusion more quickly. 

In many instances, leaders prefer to be immediately candid and not indirect when conveying bad news that has arisen quickly. Giving advance notice isn’t very practical when the bad news is urgent, as with tragedy or an unfolding event. 

However, surprising others with bad news will often create shock, a feeling of helplessness, or a highly emotional response. Once surprised with bad news, people’s reactions are highly unpredictable. This can lead to volatility or an emotional response that is atypical for that person and that has the potential to create an intractable conflict for the parties involved. 

Giving others advance notice or a heads-up that bad news is coming allows them to prepare themselves and come to grips with what is in store. If done tactfully, advance notice allows people to get themselves ready and draw up plans for how to respond. 

But advance notice can also create unnecessary worry and make others tremendously defensive. It is exceedingly difficult for leaders in many situations to give advance notice without giving the news away, which makes it a surprise. 

The context surrounding the bad news, the relationship, and the situation will point leaders to one of the approaches over the other. But, as a default, leaders should consider advance notice when they can. 

Leaders who tend toward advance notice are rewarded with more rational and constructive conversations with the other party. By allowing people to process the bad news in their own time, advance notice promotes more acceptance of the news as well. Most importantly, advance notice is viewed as more respectful and will usually lower the emotional temperature of the news and the reaction to it. That shouldn’t come as any surprise.