The Relationship Between Feedback and Caring

The motivation behind offering criticism and critique to others has a profound impact on how people respond to feedback. 

It is painfully obvious to those on the receiving end whether a leader cares about them as people and whether the intention of their criticism is to make them better. Leaders who fail to spend the time to establish both the foundation of good intentions and caring will often find team members who disregard or resist their feedback. 

People are suspicious of leaders who offer criticism without a clear motivation to help. They have the strong sense that evaluation and judgment without caring is cynical and scornful. And they would be right. 

Any time a leader offers a critique without the perceived intention to help others improve, they are viewed as insulting. While leaders rarely do this on purpose, it is essential that they understand the importance of creating a context where their intentions are clear and the caring is palpable. This is harder to do in new relationships, with strangers, and when team members have underperformed over a long period of time. 

Leaders have an obligation to care about people and to make them better. Even when this is the case, what they feel in their hearts and heads is not enough. They must make their intentions clear before offering extensive feedback. Leaders who take the time to show others that they care about them and want to help them perform to reach their highest potential then find that people want their feedback and are ready to act on it. 

Unnecessary resistance is far too often the reaction to feedback. In many cases, the aversion to critical feedback can easily be averted if leaders make the effort to create a foundation of caring and the desire to make others better. When caring comes first, people respond differently. But you already knew that.