The Habit of Summarizing Conversations
Summarizing what has been said or agreed to at the end of a conversation does more than add clarity and paint a picture of what occurred. For leaders, it is the best way to emphasize that others have been heard.
We are more likely to trust and yield to leaders who confirm that they’ve heard our views and say so. Summarizing at the conclusion of a meeting or conversation is the perfect way to let others know what they said matters, even when the leader is in disagreement.
Extracting the essential points discussed and testing them against what the other party believes transpired in the conversation is not as hard as it sounds. Rather than follow the arduous process of paraphrasing or breaking down the conversation point-by-point, the best leaders aim for a more simple summary from which a habit can be born.
At the conclusion of any conversation or meeting, good leaders simply say out loud the conclusions they have taken from the exchange:
“This is what I heard…”
“These are my takeaways from our discussion…”
“This is what I learned…”
“I’m walking away with the following…”
Getting into the habit of summarizing the key points in a conversation is made easier by trying to do less. This is not a task of perfection. Nor does a leader have to be complete in their summary.
By simply stating what has been learned, heard, or emphasized in the conversation, others know the leader wants to achieve an objective summary of what has transpired. This gives others the opening to add to this commentary, outlining whatever has been missed or misstated.
Leaders who take the time to end conversations with a succinct summary tell others that what they say registers with them. When others know they are going to be heard in every meeting and conversation, they engage differently. They open up and express more of what they are thinking.
Some leadership habits make everyone better.
I like this. I add to my summary - a review of action steps too - simple answering: Who is doing What by When.
Sage advice. I do this regularly during my weekly standing meetings, but I need to do better in my other meetings and conversations too. On a related note, I've been working on taking less notes during meetings so that I can focus on the 'hear and now' and the other speakers. I'll jot down an action item or an important date. At the end of the meeting, before I jump into my next meeting or task, I take a few minutes to summarize the important topics in the meeting. This seems to help me retain more (active recall exercise) than trying to capture everything down minute by minute.