The Dark Side of Leader Generosity

Hard-working team members deserve a generous leader, one who gives freely of their time, attention, support, and encouragement.

The best leaders go a step further in expressing their appreciation for others. They are also generous with financial rewards, perquisites, and the assets of the organization, including tickets, access to events, and other special privileges.

Generous leaders give of themselves for a simple reason. They want others to feel valued and special under their watch.

Some leaders have risen to success from very humble beginnings and so feel the need to give back to others to express their good fortune.

Other generous leaders believe they are blessed to have the opportunities they do and seek to be a blessing to others.

In either case, generous leaders feel better about themselves and enjoy the endorphins activated by the pro-social acts of their kindness toward others.

But there exists a dark side of generosity, as well.

When a leader’s generosity comes with expectations, it doesn’t qualify as big-heartedness. Giving to others as a reciprocal exchange doesn’t count as generosity. It is better labeled “self-interest.”

Some leaders are only generous to achieve outcomes important to them. They give to others in order to receive things they desire in kind.

They act generously to solidify the loyalty, support, or reassurance they need. They give to others to be liked and seen as more socially valuable.

Those with such ulterior motives often believe they must give to get the attention and commitment they deserve.

Team members are quick to spot a leader who is generous only to attain outcomes. Such leaders typically follow their acts of generosity with a request or a demand. Their generosity is never spontaneous but always connected to some outcome or result.

These leaders operate from the creed: “I’ll help you now, so you’ll help me later,” and often say so out loud.

Such leaders often manipulate others through acts of kindness and giving that are over-the-top and extravagant. They show off their affluence to be the center of attention and to remind people of their status. Their generosity is inauthentic and comes with strings attached.

Truly generous leaders never turn to the dark side, even when they are tempted to do so. They give freely and abundantly because they value people, not to receive things in return.

As a result, research confirms they are healthier, happier, and enjoy a higher quality of life. That’s a reward only genuine giving can offer.