The Best Reference Anyone Can Receive or Give

Asking leaders or colleagues to endorse or recommend our skills and talents to others follows a specific decision tree. 

• Who knows us best? 

• Who can speak to our track record and experience? 

• Who do we trust to advocate strongly for our best qualities? 

Rarely do people ask others who are not enthusiastically positive to serve as a reference. 

After serving and receiving many references, leaders soon learn there is an unwritten code to reference-making. Endorsers, either by voice or writing, generally follow the same pattern. They establish how well they know the person and highlight the superlative qualities the person has demonstrated, often with examples. And to make it seem somewhat objective, they suggest an area or two where the person is working hard to improve. 

Other than learning if the endorsee lacks so much awareness as to ask someone who actually dislikes them to serve as a reference, there is little to be gained in the process. Because the code is applied equally to just about everyone, it overrides the ability to distinguish how special any person really is. 

Until a leader busts the code. 

The reference that truly stands out is unusual because it is rarely true. But when it can be said, it changes everything about a candidate or service provider is viewed. 

The best reference anyone can receive is one that goes like this: 

• “This is the person you want to work with.” 

• “This person will fit perfectly into your program.” 

• “This person would be my first selection in a draft.” 

• “I would work with this person in a heartbeat if I could.” 

• “This person will make you successful.” 

• “If you don’t hire this person, I will.” 

Leaders who give or receive a reference that flat out suggests the choice that should be made regarding the person wildly shake the tree. When the coconuts start to fall, those who hear such an endorsement either duck or catch. Either way, there is nothing unequivocal about how the endorser feels. Given the credibility of the endorser, this reference can be a game-changer. 

When those on the receiving end hear such a reference, they often yield to the power of its conviction. Those who offer it do so knowing full well the impact their words will have on the evaluation process. It is rarely the case that a person deserves such an endorsement. But when they do, great leaders break the code by painting a different picture.  They also respect the codebreakers who offer such an endorsement. 

Uncommon conviction, given or received, moves people to action.