Even highly confident and assured people can feel intimidated by others at times. They can feel overwhelmed by those who are more confident than they are or who are highly expert and express their views more forcibly. This can make them highly self-conscious and doubtful of their own knowledge.
For those with anxiety or lower self-esteem, intimidation can be a more frequent occurrence, resulting in a feeling of powerlessness and insecurity. Any expression of intensity by others can make them feel uncertain about their own standing and worth.
This can be a horrible experience.
If it happens frequently, the self-confidence team members need to possess for success can quickly erode. Being intimidated undermines the ability of team members to operate authentically and with the poise and style they need to perform.
Unfortunately, some team members are just too easily intimidated, especially by people with status, such as leaders. Most leaders don’t intentionally attempt or desire to intimidate others. Their intense style, made up of many powerful behaviors, can simply overwhelm those susceptible to this dynamic.
The truth is that people must give leaders or others the power to make them feel inferior. And that is actually good news.
Unless it involves threats of violence, intimidation is something that people allow themselves to feel. Preventing or circumventing the feeling of being intimidated is essential for everyone, especially those who are easily unnerved by the actions of others.
The feeling of intimidation in the workplace depends on comparison. When team members compare their standing, knowledge, success, and thinking to others, they can sometimes draw the conclusion that they don’t stack up. Such comparisons can make team members feel inferior, and this, in turn, contribute to intimidation. Once intimidated, team members clam up and act differently because they falsely believe their inability to engage confidently is now exposed for everyone to see.
Allowing others to control or influence how team members project themselves and the feelings they have about their abilities is far too common because of the urge for comparisons and thoughts about how others view them. The more team members focus on what they believe, the successes they have had, and the skills, talents, and knowledge they bring to any exchange, the less intimidated they will become.
Avoiding comparisons to others is a shield against intimidation. Whenever a comparison pops into mind, the key is to redirect the attention to the substance of the exchange and not the people involved. While it isn’t easy for some team members not to feel judged, exposed, or evaluated, it is a choice they need to make for their own well-being.
All team members need to hold themselves accountable to contribute on their own terms and to negate the comparisons that allow them to become intimidated. Giving others the power to intimidate begins with a need for approval as opposed to a desire to contribute.
Those ready to engage with whatever they know and from the skills and talents they have developed are unlikely to be intimidated by others. Confidence comes from the choices team members make to contribute what they can, and not from the perceptions they project onto others and themselves.
Good morning,
As I work, I generally notice two kinds of perspectives. Those who wish to follow and those who wish to lead. While management is one of the most unnatural things human beings can do, it is often necessary. This is especially true in frontline work. If we aspire to lead, we must be prepared to put in the work (there's a lot of it). The follower's type will work hard for someone they trust (who is also in the trenches). These types usually seek mastery in their craft. The manager should interact with them accordingly. Regardless, encouragement is imperative for growing these team members. It's not our place to change people's way of thinking. It's our responsibility to look out for our team, and meet these same people where they are.
Thank you for your time.
Here is the 15 minute discussion we had today to unpack both today''s and yesterday's Field Notes entries.
https://x.com/AdmiredLeaders/status/1815453619174465896