Talking to Leaders When They Fall Out of Favor

On occasion, even good people get fired, fall from grace, get demoted, fail to secure the top job, and lose their reputation. Bad things happen for many reasons, and highly talented people are not immune. 

Once out of the spotlight, the natural tendency is for others to pull back and stop talking to these leaders. Many so-called “friends” and key relationships distance themselves. 

The fear of getting stained by whatever misfortune occurred is always on the minds of those who are most about themselves. And what’s the point? Once a leader loses the power to influence, many people don’t see any reason to maintain a close connection. 

This fair-weathered attitude isolates leaders and illustrates how thin and utilitarian many of their relationships really were. 

In the absence of normal connectivity lies relationship treasure for those who think highly of the leader in question. When no one is reaching out and engaging the leader, no matter how senior, famous, or important they once were, they become open to new conversations and relationships. 

Forging a new and strong connection to a leader down on their luck requires only a request to engage. Because the leader can no longer influence, they rightly presume this new relationship is grounded in affinity, learning, and mutual insight. And they would be right. 

Relationships that arise during such moments of personal crisis often become rich, meaningful, and lifelong friendships that benefit both parties. Yet, without the precipitous fall, this connection would be nearly impossible to create. 

Some leaders crushed by defeat will never rise again. But for those with extreme talent, this is only a temporary stumbling block, a chasm in the road. It may take some time, but they will one day again be in a seat of influence and impact. 

When they recover their mojo, they turn to authentic relationships with those who didn’t abandon them when it mattered most. You can be one of those trusted relationships if you don’t follow the crowd, but instead turn toward people you respect who are out of favor. That’s what people who are great at relationships do.