Sending Flowers Is Easy. Showing Up Is Hard.
In moments of significance for others, good leaders write a note, send flowers, or offer an acknowledgment.
For leaders who genuinely care about people, such expressions are relatively easy. But great leaders go one step further.
They show up when others don’t expect them to.
Many leaders know how important it is to show up in the big moments, such as major milestones, company-wide celebrations, and award ceremonies.
But the best leaders understand that true compassion and caring, and the loyalty it fosters, is built in the quieter moments of significance.
They attend the retirement party that feels painfully small. They make the hospital visit that could seem too brief to matter. They don’t just send flowers when a team member loses a loved one. They show up at the service even though they barely know anyone.
They recognize that what represents an inconvenience of time and travel to them can mean everything to someone else.
They make it their business to know what matters most to people—the milestones they are working toward, the challenges they are facing, and the relationships they cherish.
Showing up in moments significant to others is often uncomfortable and awkward. The best leaders push through their discomfort and show up anyway because they know their presence is symbolic for how much they care.
And caring about people is what great leadership is all about.
Years and decades later, people still remember who was there. They don’t recall what was said, what was given, or what the weather was like. But they know who showed up when it mattered most. Loyalty grows from these small moments.
We can sum up how the best leaders think about displaying their compassion for others: They don’t send flowers. They bring them.
I agree that a compassionate leader emphasizes the importance of their team and places a lot of heart into emotional intelligence. It is important to recognize the efforts of others, and treat them with the same level of respect as each human being. Maybe I'm a little confused as to what a compassionate-type leader is - if there is such a thing - but I do believe compassion is important for all leaders.
Good morning,
I agree with the importance of compassion and love for your team.
This specific example requires a situation based approach. Yes, some team members may appreciate this course of action. Others will detest it.
To be honest, I believe it is important to keep work work and home life just that. Yes give your people time off to mourn, etc...
In reality though (something we often forget), it's our family and friends who are there for us.
Our job is just that. If we're canned tomorrow, or even quit. They'll go on with their lives. None the wiser. That's the way it is supposed to be.
Some of the best advice given to me, from two team members who quit our organization, was to quit trying to be their dad/mentor.
Generation Z folks are constantly teaching me something new. This was one of my more humbling moments.
If you want to have that impact on someone, turn that energy to volunteer work.
Thank you for your time.