Praise Without the “But” Is the Best Reinforcer
Taking the opportunity to throw a suggestion or criticism when offering praise sounds like an efficient and effective way to kill two birds with one stone. Praise reinforces the behavior or action you desire to have repeated, while the suggestion shows the team member how to further improve their performance. This is known as the “Yes, but” way of giving positive feedback.
For instance, “This is great work, BUT with more attention to the details it would be even better” combines praise with a critical recommendation. Unfortunately, what seems expedient and effective isn’t so. When leaders combine praise with criticism what gets heard is the criticism. The praise loses its reinforcing function and is quickly dismissed.
Leaders who desire to strike a balance between praise and criticism need to follow the “No But” rule. If it’s praise or encouragement they want to deliver, then the best tactic is to focus solely on the positive acclaim and to leave any suggestions or criticisms for another time. When leaders are more focused on correction or feedback, offering empty praise to break the ice rarely has a positive effect. It simply feels disingenuous to those on the receiving end.
Drawing a hard line between praise and criticism and focusing on one or the other is the best path for improvement. Praise by itself is highly reinforcing, but when yoked with criticism or suggestion, it becomes diluted and ignored.
Leaders who commit to the “No But” rule will find their praise and encouragement have more impact and generate the reinforcement they most desire. Stressing what people do right without adding any additional commentary or instruction is the positive support people need and want.
Make it a habit. No more Buts with praise.
Our negativity bias is hard wired, which is why the slightest disapproval always overwhelms the loudest praise. When I was a college instructor, I noticed that students would ignore compliments I gave them on their papers and zero in on some small bit of criticism. The reverse was true when it came to those end-of-semester student evaluations of my teaching. One negative review could stick in my craw for months while I would utterly forget the dozens of positive reviews.
There is a role for praise and a role for criticism. Try not to mix them; otherwise only the negative will break through.
I love this. What I want to know is when do you deliver the criticism? I know it said later on in another conversation, but how soon afterwards and won’t that dilute the praise anyway? Just delaying it until then?