Organizing Yourself Relationally

When leaders think of being highly effective, efficient, and organized, they naturally turn to thoughts of strategy, tasks, and tactics that promote productivity. 

As they set their daily and weekly calendars, they organize themselves in terms of what must get done and how to efficiently complete the most important and urgent tasks. Given the sheer number of leaders who operate successfully from this approach, it is hard to argue for an alternative pathway that might produce superior outcomes. Yet, many of the world’s best leaders operate on a track they believe is better than organizing themselves around tasks, processes, and meetings. 

These leaders organize themselves relationally. 

For leaders who have come to believe that success in the workplace and in life is a reflection of how they connect relationally with others, it makes perfect sense to adopt a different organizing scheme to maintain a focus on what matters most. Instead of blocking and committing time to tasks and meetings, they schedule their days and weeks around people. This is such a departure from how most leaders think, it can be hard to grasp. 

Essentially, leaders who organize themselves relationally replace to-dos or tasks with people. Before deciding what tasks and meetings must get done, they focus on what people they need to engage and what relationships they want to develop. 

These leaders keep an ongoing list of the relationships that matter to them, including prospective relationships that have been newly formed, relationships with experts, industry peers, and former colleagues; family members, friends, and acquaintances they want to maintain close connection to; and team members who need their guidance and leadership. 

Instead of considering what assignments and tasks they must accomplish, they set aside time for the people they want to engage first, making sure no one important to them goes too long without a conversation. By maintaining a list of relationships that matter and by continually adding to and culling this inventory, no one important gets forgotten or ignored. Maintaining this list is essential, as no one can do this in their head for more than a few dozen relationships. 

Relationally organized leaders decide who they want or need to engage throughout the day and start there. They typically commit to scheduling a handful of conversations that are unconnected to work or initiatives that are in process. By perusing and updating their list of relationships, they know exactly when they last had a meaningful conversation with everyone who matters to them, including those prospective relationships that are steeped in potential but have yet to fully develop.

Checking in with people and spending the time to learn what is up with them tells others they matter and creates a deeper connection. Relationally organized leaders try never to go more than 90 days without conversing with those they don’t engage with naturally through their work or family life. That’s a tremendous amount of time and energy. But because they hold relationships as the key to their success, they are willing to make such a commitment. When relationships matter that much, organizing time around them seems like the logical thing to do.