Leaders Who Unintentionally Intimidate Others

Because of their influence and status, leaders can intimidate others without meaning to. An intense focus on getting things right and getting things done can project an intimidating presence to those they lead. 

Good leaders don’t purposely want to intimidate people, but too often they accept the fact that they overwhelm others without trying to dampen the negative effects their style has. 

Leaders with an intimidating style have often created that persona over many years and can see their style as the reason for their success. This makes them resistant to making changes. Even if those changes might reduce their negative impact on others. 

Often without realizing it, leaders who unintentionally intimidate colleagues actually inhibit what others will share with them. Those who feel intimidated are reluctant to raise issues, offer feedback, push back, or elevate bad news. Intimidating leaders often fail to learn what they need from others. This makes them less effective than they should be.

Not surprisingly, highly successful leaders are often viewed as smart, knowledgeable, candid, serious about their priorities, indifferent to those not involved, quick to disagree, and short with those who disagree with them. They tend to possess strong boundaries and personal rules. All ingredients that can intimidate others. 

While there is nothing wrong with being a tough-minded leader who gets the best from people, an intimidating style can get in the way of exceptional performance.  

The many elements that create intimidation are usually exceedingly difficult to change, alter, or replace. Rather than try to change who leaders have become to be this way, the better call is to offset intimidating behaviors with other choices that redirect how people view the composite style. Leaders who have incorporated intimidating behaviors into their style need to include other actions that help to mollify the impact of their intensity. 

Chief among these is the willingness to help others. Those leaders who stand ready to pitch in, assist others in their tasks, and declare their desire to support whatever challenges others face can nullify the occasional intensity others experience. 

In addition to admitting their mistakes and being quick to say, “I don’t know,” nothing softens an intimidating style as much as a willingness to lend a hand and provide unconditional support for those who follow. 

Most leaders with an intimidating style would find it easier to change being left-handed or right-handed than being able to eliminate the intense behaviors they have become accustomed to. The good news is that they don’t have to. Adding a layer of behaviors that expresses unequivocal support and backing for others turns an intense style into something much more agreeable. Sometimes we don’t need to change our style as much as we need to add to it.