Integrity Is Often Reflected by What You Say No To
Integrity is easy to see, hard to define, and exceedingly difficult to assess. We reserve the label of “integrity” for those who treat situations and people with honesty, consistency, and fairness. A reputation for integrity is earned every day through actions, choices, and decisions.
We hold the idea of integrity in such high regard that there is no one who doesn’t want to be known for it. Perhaps more than any other quality, we prefer to work with those we deem as possessing this exalted virtue.
But knowing who has integrity and who doesn’t has remained a conundrum for leaders. Other than examining the core values people say they espouse, leaders need better ways to more accurately assess who operates from integrity.
One lens into assessing integrity involves understanding what people say No to. Here’s an important insight: Those with integrity say No more often than they say Yes to opportunities, deals, trades, relationships, and many of the other decisions that shape important life outcomes.
People with integrity apply their standards to the life choices that present themselves. They don’t operate on self-interest as much as they do what is right, fair, and honest. As a result, they are more likely to decline an opportunity or possibility than they are to embrace it.
This gives leaders who want to assess integrity an edge when engaging with people they don’t know well, such as job candidates, new colleagues, and prospective clients. Learning what people say No to and when reveals a lot about who they are, what they truly stand for, and whether they have integrity.
Exploring when a person has recently said No to an opportunity or proposal and why will sometimes reveal the foundation upon which integrity has been built. Discovering the reasons behind why people decline to invest in a new relationship or turn down an offer to invest in what appears as a winning strategy or job helps to unmask how important integrity is to them.
Leaders who want to assess integrity would do well by investigating when others have declined or said No to a seemingly auspicious proposal and why. Knowing if others have integrity can prove a nearly impossible task, but understanding when and why people say No to opportunities and relationships can offer some valuable insight. By the way, how often do you say No?
Re: Integrity is...hard to define, and exceedingly difficult to assess... ChalIenge Accepted!
I think integrity is closely related to credibility. It has been said that the best way to gain the reputation for being a credible person is to do the things you say yes to/commit to. Credibility builds trust. Saying no to things (discipline) decreases your chances of overpromising and underdelivering. It is the denominator in the integrity equation: Total number of things you tell people you will do / the total number of things you actually do.
What do you think?
Really interesting, I never considered that what one says “no” to reveals integrity but upon thinking about it, makes total sense. It seems to tie to an underlying theme of the behavioral view of leadership- it isn’t what you say, but what you do. Someone may say they have a particular set of values, but do they act accordingly, particularly when declining a promising opportunity? “No” is hard for many people, which makes this a more powerful evaluation of integrity than what someone says “yes”. Thanks for stretching my brain, this gave me a lot to think about.