How Quickly Will Others Notice My Changes in Behavior?

Leaders don’t initially get rewarded by others for making a positive change in their leadership style.

That’s because team members and colleagues prefer predictability and certainty most of all.

They become suspicious any time they observe a leader doing something intentionally that they haven’t seen before.

The conclusion they reach is that the leader must be purposely trying to influence them in a new way, so they resist or try not to play to the new behavior or strategy unless it is clearly in their interest.

As we pointed out in yesterday’s Field Note, this makes changing behavior and building new leadership habits extremely difficult and frustrating.

Interestingly, how long it takes to build the new habit is different from the time it requires for others to accept that the change is enduring and now part of a leader’s persona.

With dedication and consistency, new habits can be created in weeks, but people won’t accept these new actions as permanent for months.

The lag time between a leader incorporating a new behavior and colleagues accepting that the change is lasting is much longer than most leaders realize.

This is especially true if the new behavior replaces a habit others have found to be negative or unattractive.

The time gap between when a leader makes a behavior change and when others accept it as a fixture of the leader’s style can be as long as six to nine months. Even longer if the new behavior is replacing a highly negative behavior, such as emotional outbursts, biting sarcasm, or public confrontation or feedback.

People need a great deal of evidence before they are willing to accept that a leader has changed. While they may notice the change within weeks, they want consistent proof that the new behavior will stay.

Leaders who make a change based only on feedback or the desire to influence others will rarely sustain the new behavior or style. People intuitively know this and wait for the leader to revert to their old ways.

The only leaders likely to sustain the change in the face of such a long proving period are those who are highly committed to changing for the right reasons — the best being that the leader believes the new behavior better reflects their values and how they want to show up, regardless of the effect it might have.

Leaders who make a change and expect to see differences quickly reflected in performance reviews or manager appraisals will be sorely disappointed.

It takes a long time to convince others that you operate differently, and they won’t reward you for that change until they see the behavior dozens of times and in different situations.

Are you patient enough to wait for others to confirm the change? Are you committed enough to make the change when others expect you to revert to your old ways? Are you driven enough to sustain the change when others ignore or resist it?

No wonder so many leaders stick with old behaviors and never escape the jail cell of their current approach and style. Making a behavior change is hard enough, especially when the applause is delayed by months.