Disrespect Between Colleagues Can Derail the Team

Respect between team members is a critical ingredient for high performance. Respect builds camaraderie and trust in the team and allows conversations between team members to become easeful and efficient. It reduces defensiveness and encourages openness and candidness. 

Teams with a high degree of respect between members find a way to work through problems and minor conflicts. It makes everything more fluid and productive. Good leaders work hard to foster a climate of respect where everyone on the team appreciates and recognizes the unique skills, talents, and contributions of their peers. Respect is a team superpower. 

But as important as respect is for team success, it is how leaders manage disrespect that has the largest influence on team performance. To predict what teams will emerge as high-performing, disrespect is an even more important indicator. Disrespect in a team can fester over time and spoil everything a team tries to do. Disrespect is the biggest derailer most teams can face. 

Contempt between even two team members changes the team conversation, thereby undermining the dynamic of a team. As colleagues take sides or refrain from inciting the parties through their comments, team discussions become guarded. Everyone in the room becomes uncomfortable when they know one or more team members are disrespected by others. Team members walk on eggshells trying not to make matters worse.  

Unlike the positive mirror image of respect, disrespect is somewhat complex. Among colleagues, the reasons for disrespect typically originate along two distinct dimensions: character and competence.

Based on their experience, team members might come to disrespect a colleague’s character, skill, or both. To make matters more complex, sometimes the disrespect one colleague has for another is known by both parties, while at other times, the disrespected party is in the dark. But once it exists, the influence it has on the interaction between the parties and within the team is usually palpable. 

The challenge for leaders is to nip the negative impact of disrespect in the bud before it blossoms and undermines the effectiveness of the team. This requires a leader who has their eyes wide open, listening and looking for signs and comments that reflect contempt between any members of the team. Once they determine that disrespect exists, they need to address it.

The first step is to make sure the team operates from a set of rules that includes respectful behavior from everyone. There can be no exceptions to this standard. Any team member who openly displays disdain for a colleague must be confronted immediately. 

Next, good leaders sit down privately with those holding contempt and explain the importance of finding the positive qualities of a colleague they can focus on. Leaders should then clearly articulate why this person is valuable to the team and ask the team member who holds contempt to suck it up and get past their distaste. 

Once team members realize their disrespect is noticeable and that the leader is not going to push the disrespected team member away from the team, they usually find a way to cope with their perceptions. 

Disrespect between team members is a cancer that eats away at the positive climate all teams need to succeed. Leaders address any act of disrespect and the contempt team members have for their colleagues immediately and sternly. Disrespect is a sign of rejection that can’t be tolerated on any team.