Denigrating a Peer Can Come Back to Haunt You
Not all peers are good people who deserve their place in the organization.
Some peers hog credit, engage with others in passive-aggressive manner, don’t work very hard, or bad-mouth everyone else, including you. Given the opportunity, putting them in their place by exposing their bad behavior can be tempting. Waiting for the right moment to throw them under the bus sounds like a good idea but it is actually fraught with danger.
Former U.S. President Lyndon Baines Johnson was a crafty politician who understood how to get his way. He often dealt harshly with those he disrespected or believed didn’t put the country first when making decisions.
As a Senate leader, before he ascended to the Presidency, Johnson lived by a rule that is worth noting. As heavy-handed as he was with colleagues, he believed this: “Never tell someone to go to hell unless you can send them there.”
The wisdom in that quote should not be missed.
In organizations, it is exceedingly difficult to send a bad peer to purgatory. You can denigrate their character with evidence or even convince others above you that they are harmful to the organization.
But what normally happens is… nothing.
Word soon travels that you went out of your way to smear them. You now have an enemy that will use their negative traits against you at every chance they get.
In the ultimate irony, several years later (because you couldn’t send them to hell), you may wind up reporting to them. What a horrible fate.
On occasion, this dysfunctional peer becomes vulnerable because of a misstep, failure, or bad decision. The result, to your internal joy, may be a temporary distaste shared by a senior leader or powerful advocate.
Finally, everyone sees how disruptive this peer is! This is your chance to strike. DON’T DO IT.
If you can’t force them out of the organization, your best move is to accept the reality of the situation and work hard to circumvent their dysfunction. Anything else is foolhardy.
Denigrating a peer will almost always come back to haunt you. Instead of hurting them, you will more than likely derail your own credibility. Refrain from throwing any peer under the bus. Your job and role satisfaction depend on it.
Good morning,
Well put. I do not have much information about LBJ. That's a wise quote. Let's take it apart for a moment. When you tell someone to go to hell, it can often be merely out of spite. In real time, after everyone cools down, they apologize and/or go their own ways. To truly take someone to hell, means you believe they are evil (if we're talking about the Abrahamic religions' views). You better have plenty of facts. After all you are taking two people's lives to hell ..
Any suggested credible reading material on LBJ (or any historical American) is appreciated.
Thank you for your time.
While not quite subscribing to the Hegelian Dialectic of one or other (the two sides approach), maybe the middle way is something we could borrow from the Stoics. The obstacle can be the way; the impediment to action advances the action. We learn to coexist in the same space, devoid of malice, spite or hurtful behaviour. We pick our fights for our peace of mind, even as leaders. No one was born with unlimited energy to deal with negativity. Abe Lincoln would appoint enemies to key positions and listen to their contrarian views versus those of his "lovers" or sycophantic types. There is a place for everyone in our lives, if and when we choose to just let it be. Difficult call for the leader, but peace of mind is priceless too.