Communicating With Those We Like and Care About After Termination

One of the hardest things for any leader is to push a highly treasured and prized colleague out of the organization. But sometimes the organization outgrows a valued colleague when their skills and talents no longer match what the enterprise needs now. 

Team members are sometimes too experienced to demote and too established to reallocate. The only choice is to exit a colleague who is well-liked but no longer up to the job. 

In the end, a leader must do what is best for the business, the clients or customers, and the team. This means facing the reality that someone they like and care about can no longer stay as a working member of the team. 

This is painful for everyone involved, but takes a larger toll on the leader than most bystanders think. The stress, anxiety, and discomfort of doing the right thing by the organization but making the harsh call for the colleague requires a steadfast resolve and a caring heart. Treating this person with respect, no matter how they react and respond, is a challenge good leaders must meet. True leaders never delegate the tough conversations leading up to the colleague’s departure. 

Another test looms on the horizon once the former colleague departs the organization. No matter how smoothly the exit goes, future communication becomes instantly awkward. Checking in to inquire how things are going seems cruel and unwieldy. Engaging on topics unrelated to work or the departure can be delicate and strained. 

The easiest path is to cut off contact for a period of time until the raw feelings dissipate and a new line of communication can be established. 

Unfortunately, once interaction ceases to exist for a few weeks, reengaging becomes even harder. Without proactive thought, it soon becomes months since the last interchange. Reestablishing contact is now thorny and problematic. Many relationships dissolve as a result. 

This is no way to treat an important and long-lasting relationship. Good leaders can do better. 

The real challenge is to maintain a steady cadence of contact immediately after the dismissal, no matter how difficult or awkward it may be. By pushing through the discomfort, leaders show this former colleague they are truly cared about. Insisting on checking in and finding new topics to explore reifies the importance of the person and the relationship. Instead of dissolution, the relationship becomes something new and important to both parties. 

Avoiding discomfort is always the easier path to take, but good leaders refuse to take it. They commit to maintaining the relationship even when it is less painful to let it wither from a lack of contact. If this person was truly valued and prized, then leaders really have no other choice. That’s what authenticity is all about.