Communicating Constructive Displeasure

To grab a team or team member’s full attention, leaders sometimes believe they must resort to emphatically emotional appeals. Raising the temperature on an issue can help to move people to action. The challenge is to make the point without crossing the line of disrespect. 

While yelling or acting out is never appropriate, making disappointment or displeasure clearly known can be a balancing act between stern and forbidding. Constructive displeasure is the idea that creating a heightened emphasis around a problem or issue should promote goodwill and not come across as demeaning or degrading. 

Pointing fingers or acting out can too easily cross that line. So good leaders look for other ways to make their displeasure known constructively. Sometimes, all it takes to create a reverberating emphasis on the leader’s displeasure is to communicate the message in an atypical setting, use supporting data to underline the point, set aside an unusual time to discuss the problem, or deploy short, sharp sentences to contrast the message. 

On occasion in group settings, leaders get highly creative in striking a serious tone by using props, metaphors, or other devices to make their point unequivocal. For instance, leaders have been known to display displeasure surrounding budget issues by representing dollars with marbles, colored liquid, or even Monopoly money. The thinking behind such provocative displays is to make the message memorable and to ensure everyone understands the need for action. 

For teams, it sometimes takes a mild spectacle to get everyone to appreciate the seriousness of the message. But leaders who do so must find a way to elevate the displeasure constructively without embarrassing or humiliating anyone.

Displeasure never needs to be unkind.