Burned by People Too Many Times

Over time, leaders are highly likely to suffer from the extreme and negative actions of others. Like everyone else, leaders can be exploited, betrayed, deceived, and manipulated by those they lead. 

Lead enough people over a period of years, and the odds are you will experience many instances where a team member acts in bad faith or so inappropriately the relationship must come to an end. The cumulative consequences of these episodes and sour endings are real. 

As the career of any leader evolves, untrustworthy people and negative incidences begin to pile up. This naturally creates a feeling of trepidation and reluctance to trust people fully. The negative feelings and disappointment that bad actors can create can be overwhelming in the moment. And sometimes linger into the future. 

With each new incident, it is common for leaders to ask themselves whether it is truly worth it to let their guard down and completely trust the people they lead. Why get burned again? Isn’t making the same mistake multiple times a sign of a weak and ineffective leader?  

As with all things in life, disappointment comes with the territory. Everyone gets played and becomes the fool at some point. No leader has a perfect track record regarding team members who perform loyally over time. Everyone suffers from the occasional team member who behaves in a such manner that it calls for confrontation or dismissal. 

The obligation of every leader is to presume the best of people and to act accordingly. Anything less makes the job of leadership untenable for everyone involved. 

Without feeling and experiencing the leader’s trust and confidence, the best team members can’t reach their highest potential. They depend on their leader to forget the negative relationships and episodes and work hard to help them become the best they can be. 

Becoming callused to the instances and people where this trust is misplaced is surrendering to the few and privileging that experience over the many. Accepting that a team member will occasionally do things that will undermine a leader’s faith in humanity is part of the job. That’s why you are the leader. Because you can rise above those instances and maintain the optimism and trust in people required to lead them. 

Forget the bad actors. Everyone else is counting on you.